journal jar #1

as princess4 was helping me purge my room of unnecessary trinkets i ran across a "journal jar" i made back in young women. it is filled with dozens of questions that as a young women i was supposed to answer in my journal. although i considered throwing it away, i have always held onto it promising that some day i would actually answer all of these questions. princess4 suggested i answer them here. some are funny and random, some are more meaningful. i encourage you to answer these questions yourself...

do you have a close relationship with any of your grandparents? tell about it.

i do. i have always felt very close to my grandpa groo. i was named after him. i've wondered if maybe that's why i feel close to him or if it is something else. i'm still not sure, but either way i've always felt important to him. probably all of my sisters felt this way about him. he was just one of those men. so good. so happy. always smiling. even as he reached the end of his life and he became more and more confused i never saw him mad, upset or confused with me or anyone.

he had crutches as a result of polio, which he had years and years before i was born. we would all pretend to be mermaids and he would send his crutch out into the water to catch us. to me, they were a part of him. they express, to me, how he dealt with all of his trials. he accepted them as part of him and instead of dwelling on them, he found happiness through them and shared it.

i remember playing checkers with him. i remember eating cream of wheat with him. i remember him whistling. i remember his smile. i remember his big heart. i remember his playfulness. i remember his love for me. 

after he was gone i developed a love for family history. as my grandma groo recognized this she told me that maybe i could complete that work that he had been working to accomplish... as his namesake. that might sound a little dramatic and i see that love for family history burn in the hearts of other family members as well, but now when i learn about my ancestors i not only feel closer to them, but i feel closer to him. i know him better, he knows me better, he is proud of me and he is looking out for me.

me and grandpa.
2 whits.

me and grandpa.

me and grandpa.

me and grandpa.

me, princess4 and grandpa.

it's almost impossible to speak about my love for him without sharing my love for my grandma groo as well. she was very different from my grandpa. when my grandpa was alive i felt a more interactive relationship with him than with her, but she was the doer. she was behind the scenes making everything possible. she made the food when we visited. she planned the thanksgiving fishing. she made us dress-up clothes. she let me play dress-up with her clothes and jewelry. she sent letters of love and reassurance, sharing how proud she was of me, encouraging me to be good and be better.

after my grandpa passed away and she moved closer to my family, she took a more interactive role in my life. i know i took it for granted. she cared about me so much, was worried about me, looked out for me and just wanted me to be happy. i would go to her condo and we would make muffins and she would suggest we take them to her neighbors. she would encourage me to practice the piano. she would make deals with me to get me to stop biting my nails. she would cut out newspaper articles for me that she felt i should read or that were meaningful to her. she was one faithful and loving woman.

me, grandma, princess3.

me, princess2, princess3 and princess4?
i just got my dress-up wedding dress that she made me.

me and grandma.

i love and miss them both.